Just Keep Swimmin, just keep swimmin....

My ECHO came back normal - my heart is working perfectly fine and they couldn't even see any fluid anymore. So, I continued treatment today - with only a one day delay. My symptoms are still under control and I will keep taking the Motrin and resting through the remainder of this. I am almost there!!!

A Short Update

I saw the radiation oncologist today. I did not receive treatment - instead he sent me for an echocardiogram, where they looked at my heart with an ultrasound machine. It was pretty cool to watch my heart beating on the monitor. So, the cardiologist will evaluate the results and then they will probably continue treatment tomorrow or the next day. The tech who did the echo said everything looked fine(I think the ridiculous amounts of Motrin they put me on have really been helping with the inflammation), so I am thinking this is all going to be resolved very soon, with only a minor delay in my treatment schedule. Thank you for your prayers! 

Hold Me Jesus

I heard a familiar song today - one that has encouraged me at several points in my life. It has been sung by several different artists, including Rich Mullins, Big Daddy Weave, and Rebecca St. James. If you are reading this, I hope these words will encourage you in whatever you are going through. This is the cry of my heart right now:

Hold Me Jesus

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all,
when the mountains look so big,
and my faith just seems so small.

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark,
it's so hot inside my soul,
I swear there must be blisters on my heart.

So, hold me Jesus,
cause I'm shaking like a leaf,
You have been King of my glory,
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?

Surrender don't come naturally to me,
I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want,
Than to take what you give that I need.
And I've beat my head against so many walls,
Now I'm falling down, falling on my knees...

So, hold me Jesus,
cause I'm shaking like a leaf,
You have been King of my glory,
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?

And the Salvation Army band is playing this hymn,
And your grace rings out so deep,
It makes my resistance seem so thin.

Hold me Jesus,
cause I'm shaking like a leaf,
You have been King of my glory,
Won't you be my Prince of Peace?

You have been King of my glory,
Come and be my Prince of Peace,
Lord, you are the Prince of Peace,
Come and be my Prince of Peace.

Resting At Home

We are home - we finally left Stanford at 10 pm last night, grabbed some food, got home around midnight and crashed. We went to church really late this morning b/c neither of us thought to set an alarm last night - but it was nice to go to church at all. Now we are home and I am on my way back to bed - I still feel exhausted. Thank you for all of your prayers. I will write more later...

It's Not Over Until It's Over...

So, it's Saturday night and I am typing this from my hospital bed - yea for free wireless internet at Stanford!! I got admitted last night after the results of the CT scan showed a buildup of fluid between my heart and the surrounding tissues (I think it's called pericardial effusion?) and inflammation of the lining of the heart (pericarditis). They started me on 800 mg Motrin and my pain has decreased significantly - so we are waiting to find out if I can go home tonight. This condition is most likely an uncommon side effect of the radiation. It is not immediately dangerous - the only problem would be is if the fluid increased significantly it could restrict the flow of blood to my heart - then it would become an emergency. They could drain the fluid at that point - but it would be much easier if I was already in the hospital, which is why they kept me overnight to monitor me. They did a chest x-ray this afternoon and they are reviewing it tonight to decide if I can go home.

Well, it's a funny thing, I celebrated the end of chemo as if the hard part was all over, and all I had left was to get through a little radiation, which was going to be more of a nuisance than anything b/c of the drive. For some reason that now baffles me, I was convinced that I would have very few side effects during radiation, feel fine, and have lots of time to work on things I wanna do and get ready to go back to normal life and everything (I will give the radiation oncologist some credit for my assumptions - he really downplayed the side effects when he talked to me). This week I have felt extreme fatigue and then this whole chest thing started And now I spending my weekend in the hospital in a cardiac care unit where I am the youngest patient by about forty years (and with the fastest heart rate - how does this happen?), missing the Coast Guard Ball that I just bought a dress for on Thursday, and wondering how I am going to get my paper done for my psychology class (I think I am probably gonna use the cancer card and ask for an extension).

Last time I was in the hospital (at Travis Air Force base), I came back with all kinds of funny and ridiculous stories about the lack of organization and my experiences there. I don't really have any funny stories this time - Stanford is a very well-run, organized, quality hospital from what I can see.

In the midst of all this, God continues to be good. We had a couple of awesome visitors today - thank you if you are reading this! I am also thankful to live in America where I can get this type of treatment, and furthermore, at Stanford, which may quite possibly be the best in the United States, if not the world, for my specific type of lymphoma.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers!!

Hospital's ROCK!!!

I heard someone say once that you spend the most time doing those things you enjoy most.  Well, tell you what - we must really love hospitals!

Christie is about 1/2 through with her radiation treatment, but yesterday she began to have worsening chest pain.  So today I went to her radiation treatment with her, and they decided to admit her to the Emergency Room to run tests.  It looks like she has inflamed lining around the lungs and heart (pluritis & periocarditis sp?).

It's painful, but as long as it doesn't get too irritated she'll be fine.

Right now I'm in the ER with her waiting for them to run a final test.  The doc just told us that one of her blood markers is a little high, so they want to do a CT scan now.  So, it's 5:30 PM now, and she still hasn't eaten since breakfast.  And there's no sign that she'll get her CT any time soon =(  So, we're standing by to stand by to stand by to stand by to ...

Late Night Thoughts....

So, it's almost two-o-clock in the morning and here I am, still up, just messing around researching "possibilities" on the internet. For what? Oh, schools, future jobs, volunteer opportunities, races and triathlons, etc., I get more creative the later it gets. I apparently have no internal clock of my own, b/c I always find myself up really late on nights when Ryan has duty. It is nice to live with him, b/c (among many other reasons =)) his internal clock is well-established, so he helps me realize when it is time to do things like go to bed and wake up. When I lived alone, I would stay up ridiculously late on work nights watching just "one more episode" of the addicting Grey's Anatomy TV series - what else are you going to do on lonely nights in Kodiak, AK? I have since given up that show completely, lol.

So, enough rambling...I guess the point of all that was I am ecstatic about finally coming to the end of my treatments and the opportunity to do all the things I love regularly again! Updates on my treatment: I am currently driving to Stanford Monday-Friday for radiation treatment at 1130 - this will continue through April 2. So far, the side effects of radiation have been minimal and I am feeling much better than I did during chemo. I have even been able to start running and working out again, which feels great! And I am excited because my mom is coming to visit me again in less than two weeks!! It will be nice to have her here while Ryan is at school in Alabama for a week.

Prayer Requests:

- for the completion of radiation, that I will not have too much skin irritation in the later treatments; and that my body will continue to recover from the fatigue caused by both chemo and radiation

- going back to work full-time in less than a month: I am ecstatic and nervous at the same time. Pray for energy, strength, a smooth transition getting back into the swing of things, and a renewed passion for my witness and testimony at work.

- my future dreams and plans: I have lots of them spinning around in my head right now, both short-term and long-term. That I will not get ahead of myself or God or waste time on "distractions", but that God would show me how he wants me to spend my time, each step of the way

-in relation to both of the above: God has placed me in the full-time job I have right now for a reason. that I would be able to acknowledge that and commit fully so I will have a relevant testimony at work, despite my varying and sometimes more compelling interests elsewhere (if that makes sense)

- that God would protect my body from long-term effects of radiation

Thank you for all your faithful support and prayers! Have a blessed weekend!!