It's Not Over Until It's Over...

So, it's Saturday night and I am typing this from my hospital bed - yea for free wireless internet at Stanford!! I got admitted last night after the results of the CT scan showed a buildup of fluid between my heart and the surrounding tissues (I think it's called pericardial effusion?) and inflammation of the lining of the heart (pericarditis). They started me on 800 mg Motrin and my pain has decreased significantly - so we are waiting to find out if I can go home tonight. This condition is most likely an uncommon side effect of the radiation. It is not immediately dangerous - the only problem would be is if the fluid increased significantly it could restrict the flow of blood to my heart - then it would become an emergency. They could drain the fluid at that point - but it would be much easier if I was already in the hospital, which is why they kept me overnight to monitor me. They did a chest x-ray this afternoon and they are reviewing it tonight to decide if I can go home.

Well, it's a funny thing, I celebrated the end of chemo as if the hard part was all over, and all I had left was to get through a little radiation, which was going to be more of a nuisance than anything b/c of the drive. For some reason that now baffles me, I was convinced that I would have very few side effects during radiation, feel fine, and have lots of time to work on things I wanna do and get ready to go back to normal life and everything (I will give the radiation oncologist some credit for my assumptions - he really downplayed the side effects when he talked to me). This week I have felt extreme fatigue and then this whole chest thing started And now I spending my weekend in the hospital in a cardiac care unit where I am the youngest patient by about forty years (and with the fastest heart rate - how does this happen?), missing the Coast Guard Ball that I just bought a dress for on Thursday, and wondering how I am going to get my paper done for my psychology class (I think I am probably gonna use the cancer card and ask for an extension).

Last time I was in the hospital (at Travis Air Force base), I came back with all kinds of funny and ridiculous stories about the lack of organization and my experiences there. I don't really have any funny stories this time - Stanford is a very well-run, organized, quality hospital from what I can see.

In the midst of all this, God continues to be good. We had a couple of awesome visitors today - thank you if you are reading this! I am also thankful to live in America where I can get this type of treatment, and furthermore, at Stanford, which may quite possibly be the best in the United States, if not the world, for my specific type of lymphoma.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers!!