"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
Your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even though I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life,
I won't turn back I know you are near.
And I will fear no evil, for my God is with me,
And if my God is with me,
Whom then shall I fear, whom then shall I fear?
Oh no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm
oh no, you never let go, every high and every low,
oh no, you never let go, Lord, you never let go of me."
Two months ago, I returned from my final patrol on MORGENTHAU. On the first Sunday I was in church after that, this was one of the worship songs and it was a song of praise for me, thanking God for bringing me through "the calms and the storms" of the past year on the cutter, and the past couple years of Ryan and I being apart all the time. I was thinking back over the past couple years about how God had truly never let go, and had brought us to this time when we could live in the same place for months/even years at a time(imagine that?) and I felt like we had completed a journey in our lives and arrived at a more restful, settled time - as if God was giving us a breath of fresh air.
Now, two months later, this has become my song of faith and my prayer, as we sang it in church again this morning. I am so thankful that Ryan and I can live together consistently now, and there is such peace and joy in knowing that we will not be saying good-bye next week or next month or the month after, etc. And we appreciate this more than we ever would have before. I am also experiencing a certain type of rest in the journey of this sickness - every other week I am forced to slow down and a quiet falls over my life for a few days and I believe that God will use those times to draw me to Him - He is showing me that I need to give up all my anxieties during that time and just let Him do that. And then, in the big picture of life, mine has been taken out of my hands and immediate control (or semblance of control) right now, and God is showing me what it means to rest in Him. And this extends to every area of my life -work, future plans, relationships, etc. - when I become anxious or overwhelmed or do not know what to do, I find myself more and more asking Him to show me and praying simply, "I will rest in you."
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
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3 comments:
`Christie and Ryan, when I read the blog today, I went and got my devotional book. I thought this AM it spoke to me - perhaps it will speak to you also.
"Prayer brings fear into focus and faces it. But prayer does more than bravely face fear, it affirms God's presence in it."
Love you, Gahgee
Hi Guys.. Glad to hear all about your week. So excited to hear you are going to see Gahgee and the gang in TX. Have a safe trip! Give Gahgee, and everyone of course a hug from me. xoxox
Hey Christie! That John 14:27 verse is one of my very favorites - I believe it is largely responsible for Elaine's existence:) When I was having so much trouble going into premature labor during my pregnancy with her, i would repeat that verse over and over until things would settle down. I know that as I released my fear to Him, His peace washed over me - and i know and am so thankful that you are experiencing that same inexplicable peace - the peace that passeth all understanding.
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