It's Day 9 after chemo, and I am feeling pretty good. Yesterday I went for another 30 second walk/jog interval session, and that felt good. My legs still feel weak and I have lost feeling in my fingertips, but other than that I feel very good. Before I started chemo, I had quite the cough and I was almost constantly nauseous, symptoms caused by the size and location of the tumor. This week, I noticed that my cough is now nonexistent and I have felt less nauseous the past couple of days than I have in weeks. Could it be that monster is already shrinking???
We had a nice day - we went to church this morning and then my mom took us to lunch at our favorite Thai restaurant. She has hardly ever eaten Thai food - but I think we converted her!! Then some of our family friends stopped by on their way to LA - it was nice to see them.
The sermon in church this morning was titled "The Crucible of Unexplained Suffering." How fitting. The pastor talked about Joseph and his time in prison - how he faced multiple disappointments and yet never lost his faith in God and His plan. I feel like I am in that crucible right now - after spending the first year and a half of our marriage almost constantly apart, Ryan and I were finally able to live together like God intended - and I was just telling some friends a few weeks ago that I felt settled for the first time in awhile - like everything was falling into place and God was giving us a break. And then....
But He promises that He "works all things together for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28). I really feel that God is in all this with us, and that we will see His purpose fulfilled throughout this journey and in the years to come. Sometimes I wonder if He using this to prepare me for something...a ministry, a job, people in my life that I will be able to help, or maybe just to shape my heart for His future plans.
Thank you for all your prayers and support!
Here are the words to the first verse and chorus of a Casting Crowns song that has touched my heart:
"I was sure by now, that you would have reached down,
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say Amen, and it's still raining.
But as the thunder rolls, I barely hear you whisper through the rain,
I'm with you.
And as your mercy falls,
I'll raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
I'll praise you in this storm,
And I will lift my hands,
You are who you are,
No matter where I am,
And every tear I cry,
You hold in your hand,
You never left my side,
And though my heart is torn,
I will praise you in this storm."
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5 comments:
Christie ... I read today's entry. Thank you for sharing.
I find it ironic that you quoted Romans 8:28. I am currently reading a book, and I read some more of it this evening. The title is, "The Promise ... How God Works All Things Together for Good," by Robert J. Morgan.
A girlfriend of mine is going through some significant challenges, and she told me about the book. My pastor mentioned the book from the pulpit this morning. So, I think it would be profitable to pass this resource information on to you.
I am hopeful that you will be able to get a copy and read it. It really does give a fresh perspective on the providence of God.
In response to your words, "Sometimes I wonder if He using this to prepare me for something...a ministry, a job, people in my life that I will be able to help, or maybe just to shape my heart for His future plans." ...The answer is ... All of the above and more! :)
"When you can't trace His hand, you can trust His heart." Charles Spurgeon
Blessings & Joy in Believing ~
Doris
Christie and Ryan,
I am going to respond to your song with another song :) One of the songs at Elaine and Keith's wedding was "Oh Love That Will Not Let Me Go". I love the words. One of the ways God encourages me is through a rainbow - many times I felt He has spoken directly to me in the display of a rainbow. The words to this song remind me that if we are willing, He will show us the rainbow in the midst of the rain - and that without the rain there is no rainbow! I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God can and will use this time in your life to His Glory and to mold you into the amazing creation He had in mind when He first thought about you. Anyway, here are the words to one of the verses of the song:
O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.
Hey Christie and Ryan,
Elaine tagged me on her blog to list 6 quirky things about myself on my blog - and now i'm tagging you!! I didn't link to your blog on mine, you shouldn't end up with unwanted readers. Thought you might like to have some fun with it though. Check out my blog for the rules: www.gettingtotheheartland.blogspot.com
Hi Christie!
You have such a great outlook on everything that is going on! You have been in my prayers a lot lately, and Shaun and I are really looking forward to seeing you in chruch soon.
Hang in there, and if you ever need anything, please contact us.
Sincerely,
Suzanne
Good song...I love that song.
Love you sweetie!
Alison D
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